Getting Your Inner Spark Back: 5 Tips to Loving Yourself Again
We are born knowing that we are infinitely lovable. Babies and toddlers demand love and attention. They ask to be held, they ask for toys and presents and they feel they deserve them. When we’re very young, we simply somehow just “know” that we are amazing and deserve nothing but goodness.
But then something happens…
We get programmed by kids at school and various media outlets. We hit puberty and our hormones kick in and suddenly instead of being awesome and lovable, we believe we aren’t good enough, smart enough, or good-looking enough.
The good news is, you can fall in love with yourself all over again, and here are some ideas to get you started:
Make Time for Yourself (Date Yourself)
Little kids spend a lot of alone time playing. And during this alone time, they are really connected to their inner world. The “us” in this inner world is the real us, not the person in the business suit or rush-hour traffic or the local Walmart line. Spend quality time with yourself so you can reconnect to the “you” you’ve forgotten. I treat myself to monthly manicures and pedicures or a shopping day (thrift stores are a favorite of mine) just to reconnect. I also love going to the beach by myself and just walking in the sand. If you were to sit down and think of 5 things that you can do to treat yourself (and they don’t even need to involve money), you are already on the path of reconnecting with yourself. Next, you just need to put those things into action.
Say “No” More Often
When we constantly put others’ needs before our own, we tell our subconscious mind over and over that we do not matter. If you are a people pleaser, get into the habit of saying no to others and yes to yourself more often. Oh…I could write a book on this one lol. I was always the “Yes” girl…the people pleaser; but, this behavior did nothing but cause me more stress and anxiety. I have learned…with a lot of help…to pause before I commit to anything and to make the decision of whether or not I want to do something once I am alone, and not feel pressured to please anyone.
Do What You Love
Maybe when you were young you wanted to be an actor, singer, or photographer, but an adult “talked some sense into you.” Well, there is no reason you can’t explore these passions as a hobby now. Doing what you love is one of the best ways to love yourself more. Who says that it’s too late to join your local community theater or purchase that high-end camera and do some freelance work?? If anyone does tell you that…ignore them and do it anyway!
Speak Your Truth
When you constantly tell other people what they want to hear instead of telling the truth, you silence yourself. This, in turn, kicks your self-worth to the curb.
Don’t be afraid to always be authentic and truthful. Sure, you’ll sometimes have to find graceful and tactful ways to share your truth with others, but it’s the best way to love yourself. In turn, being authentic and truthful with friends and loved ones…although it can be hard at times…allows them to trust and respect you more, as they learn that they can count on your honesty.
Get Help
When our self-worth is low or non-existent, attempting to love ourselves can feel impossible. If you suffer from self-esteem issues, speaking with a coach can help you recognize where these issues came from and how to work through them to truly love yourself.
If you’d like to explore coaching options, please feel free to reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help you get your spark back.
Much Love,
Angie