How to Fit Romance Back into Your Scheduled Sex Life

It’s the natural course of things in any romantic relationship: as time passes, the “newness” and “butterflies” gives way to routine. You always know what to expect from your partner, and you’ve heard all their stories. While your love for your partner has grown and matured along with you and your relationship, it’s not uncommon for what was once a fiery passion to have fizzled out over the years.

All areas of a relationship take work, and romance in your relationship is no exception. If you’re looking for ways to stoke the fire of romance with your spouse or significant other, below are some tips that can help.

Listen More

It’s always more difficult to hear than to be heard. You might feel like you know everything there is to know about your partner, but people change. Make an effort to ask more questions, and really listen to your partner’s responses with interest. Ask them how their day was, probe them about their interests, and talk to them as you would if you were getting to know a new friend. Just think about how you feel when people ask how your day was, or what your interests are. It makes you feel important and like you’re a priority in their life.

Touch Often

Research has shown that physical touch is a form of non-verbal communication that satisfies the desire for a physical connection. A lack of physical touch is often construed as a lack of physical affection, which can greatly decrease relationship satisfaction. Show your partner affection by making an effort to touch your partner’s skin through a hug, a touch of their arm, hand or back. Hold hands and kiss more often.

If you haven’t already done so, or it’s been several years, I strongly advise taking the 5 Love Languages quiz by Gary Chapman, Ph.D. You may think you already know everything there is to know about him or her, but you may be wrong. More often than not, we unconsciously tend to give our partners the type of love language that pertains to our own needs…not theirs. Taking this free quiz and then comparing the findings with your partner, will help you to know exactly what he/she needs from you to keep the love alive.

To take the free quiz, simply copy and paste the link below into your internet browser.

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes

Try New Activities Together

No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, there are bound to be things you’ve wanted to do together that you haven’t gotten around to. Or perhaps there are things you’d love to try that you never thought of before, if only you could discover them. Whether it’s joining a local social group, trying a new wine bar, or exploring your sexual fantasies, enjoying new and different activities together is sure to help bring back the spark that may be missing from your relationship. It’s so easy to become comfortable and complacent in our relationships…especially when you’ve been together for many years and children or grandchildren are now involved. We get in a routine of taking care of everyone and everything…except our partner. Trying new things together is a fantastic way to reinvent the relationship and just add some excitement back in!

Revisit the Past

Take a weekend trip to your honeymoon spot, revisit the place where you had your first date, where you got engaged or your old stomping grounds. Revisiting familiar places when you were just getting to know each other will help remind you both of the how’s and why’s of your love story. Not to mention, it’s just fun to reminisce sometimes and talk about those fun times that you may have forgotten about. Revisiting those places will not only bring up pleasant memories, but will also spark new conversations.

Keep in mind that relationships are never perfect, and that it’s natural to have ups and downs with your partner. If you’re going through a difficult time, know that things can improve. With love, trust, and hard work, you can get your relationship with your partner back on the upswing. It takes an openness, willingness, and a degree of creativity from both of you though to make it happen…after all, no one wants to do all of the work.

Are you and your partner struggling in your relationship? A life coach specializing in relationship counseling can help you both work on improving your relationship. Call my office today so we can schedule a time to talk.

Much Love,

Angie